If you want to know how to improve your relationship, here are some simple steps that I've found will help you to create (or recreate) warmth, love, and affection between you and your significant other.

Find the Love in You!

You need to find and recognise the love in yourself before you can share it with another. Sages and Saints from all traditions have told us that Love is within us -- always and forever. The Yogis of India say there is a spot in the centre of your chest which is the gateway to an infinite ocean of Love within. Would you like to dive in? All you need to do is sit quietly with your eyes closed. Then in your mind's eye bring up a memory of someone or something you love. Feel your loving feelings for that person and let that loving feeling bring a warm smile to your lips. Just bask in the glow of that loving feeling for a few moments. Then smile into your body, appreciating it, feeling grateful for it.

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Pledge Your Allegiance to Love!

Now you've discovered that eternal Love is there within you, you are free from being so needy and dependent on others for your happiness. Already you are more attractive and appealing to be around. You have plugged into Love and your energetic vibration is so much more appealing to be around.

Now, as far as how to improve your relationship goes, I think a prime secret is that 'commitment to Love' that we have all so conveniently forgotten. We've been suckered by romance movies into thinking that Love should be effortless and spontaneous. Something we experience as a happening. But Love is a verb -- it's something you DO! And you get to enjoy its incredible benefits if you work at bringing it into your life. You do that by making it a priority. And you demonstrate your commitment to that new value, by making small but highly significant changes in your behaviour and the way you treat others -- particularly your spouse, children, boyfriend/girlfriend, significant other, and... what the heck, everybody else in your world! Get committed to Love and, I believe, Love gets committed to you.

The Dance with the Beloved

So make an active show of being in Love with your partner. Start saying, "I love you" frequently throughout the day whenever you are around your partner. Give unexpected hugs and kisses. Don't stand there expecting them to reciprocate. You might be doing all the 'work' to begin with -- it can be frustrating, but keep dipping into that Infinite Love within, okay?

Thank your partner whenever they do something for you and show appreciation for the things they do in life and at home. If your relationship has been at a very low ebb, this can be really arduous and hard work to begin with... but you are committed to this because you want that 'loving feeling' back between you. I'm telling you to do this with your partner, but don't stop there -- spread the love through all your relationships: your children, your siblings, your parents or relatives, your friends and co-workers. You deserve to improve all your relationships.

Symbols of Love

Now that you are all about Love, support your relationship with reminder triggers and unconscious cues. The Chinese art of Feng Shui recommends that to improve your relationship you put pictures of happy loving couples in your bedroom (and remove any pictures of single people). You can also include those small statuettes of couples hugging and kissing. I've been in the habit of buying one on every anniversary -- and they are subconscious cues about coupledom, togetherness and intimacy.

What's in a Name?

Have you got a pet name for your loved one? When talking to your partner, if you don't already, start dropping in loving tags, like 'my darling', 'sweetheart', 'beloved', 'lover'. Some people use 'baby' but do you really want to mother your partner? Same goes for calling your man "Daddy". Steer away from mixing your metaphors like that. Stick with equal footing terms of endearment.

Remove Your Clause

Throw away the 'escape clause' that you keep stuffed in the back of your mind. This is that thought that you can always leave this relationship if something better comes along, or can leave it if the other person doesn't conform to your idea of what the relationship should be. Resolve right now to make a go of this relationship come hell or high water. Never again bring the threat of leaving into an argument. We've been trained by too many TV dramas into thinking that if you have an argument it has to become this big emotional explosion that leads to dramatic separations. It's so childish. Commit to resolving differences and returning to a state of love and lessen your need to prove that you are right and the other person is wrong. Who cares! It's not worth it, if it mucks up the emotional tone of your togetherness.

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