5 Proven Tips On How To Save Your Marriage From a Divorce - 10 minutes read
Save your marriage... or not? Divorce or stay together? If you have arrived here, then you will probably have the same issue and asking yourself how to save your marriage from a divorce. And when you are about to end up in divorce, I can imagine that you can use my help. It is very annoying for you that it has come to that. But I will help you today to solve this problem, and it is easier than you think.
Tip 1: Identify the Problems
If you have a relationship with each other, you will undoubtedly find it difficult to talk too much about your problems. If you say something that you don't like, your husband will get angry. And if he does the same, how do you respond? Are you listening to his criticism or are you shaking it off?
Look critically at what is going on between you. If a divorce is in the pipeline, it means there are problems that can no longer be ignored. If it is so bad that you can no longer ignore it, it is time to take a critical look at how your relationship works. The positive pieces are not that important right now. It is about the exact problems that play between you. Maybe you want different things right now. And I want you to know that this is completely OKAY. You are not the same individual. You are both individuals with your own wishes and preferences. And your taste does not always have to match. This does not have to cause any relationship problems.
The Secret of How to make your Man fall in Love with you once Again.
People think you should have everything 100% in common. That is, if you want a relationship to succeed. But the reality is that this is unnecessary. It is perfectly possible to enter into a relationship without having to agree on everything. The point is that you find a way to deal with these differences. Just like with the problems that can be caused by these differences. Only then can you answer a much more important question. Will the relationship work the way it is now?
If you face a divorce, this undoubtedly means that here and there some reproaches go over the table. But I want to ask you to stop this immediately.
Yes, your relationship is not doing well. Yes there are problems. And yes, your partner has a share in it. But as long as you keep blaming each other, those problems just keep on increasing.
In the best case, you work together. In the worst case, you continue to blame each other until the divorce papers have been signed. So please do not make this mistake.
Focus on finding a solution and the shared ground. So that you can live happily ever after, if you decide to stay together.
Tip 2: Give Him What He Needs
I'm going to tell you some secrets that men will never tell you. They are too proud of it. Their ego is too big. And if they would tell you, they would do it in disguised language. The truth is too confrontational. Most women are well aware of this. They know that when a man is reading the map, they should not comment on where they are going.
But knowing something does not mean that you do it. And things often go wrong there.
How often have you done one of the following?
Commentary while your husband was doing something that would both benefit you. For example a job in the house, or a household task that you have assigned to him.
Criticized him because he is working overtime, ignoring the fact that he is doing this to make money for you.
Men are hypersensitive when it comes to that ego. They will never tell you. But if you do some of these things, he will never thank you for it. He will develop frustration about it. And if this frustration builds up, you can say that it has a negative impact on your relationship. It is one of the secrets that men will never tell you, because it is very easy to dismiss it as "childish." But for men it feels lifelike. They want to be taken seriously. If you don't do that, they will feel groped in the cross.
That's because we want to feel physically strong. Someone who makes fun of us despite our physical strength is clearly not afraid of us.
And that in our head equals a lack of respect... and the feeling that we have to prove ourselves.
Men only want this one thing and its not SEX!
So please give him time for himself. Every man needs a few hours a day to relax. This might look like this:
He spends time working on a car in the garage. He plays computer games or watches a movie. He drinks ungodly amounts of alcohol with his friends. He's in a band. He is going bowling. He does other man things.
The point is that he needs time to recover from his work. When he comes home after a long day, he doesn't want anything.
Almost every man needs a few hours a day on which he can be alone.
So that he can organize his thoughts. Can process his emotions. So that he can then pretend that they are not there again. And he can be the strong man again, whom he thinks you dream about.
Tip 3: Do You Both Want to Work on it?
Are you willing to work on it? Before we continue with the tips about saving your relationship, a short interlude. Suppose you have determined what the problems are. And you have decided to give your husband a little more appreciation and calm. Have you thought about how he is doing?
Many women who ask me for advice forget the role of the man. There are roughly three groups of women with relationship problems:
Group 1: It's all his fault: In this case the man gets the wind from the front. He can't do anything right, and she's not willing to look at her share. I don't usually get these women in my mailbox because they are too busy putting pressure on their husbands.
Group 2: It's all my fault If putting pressure on their husbands does not help, these women are very concerned that they have not succeeded. And they assume that they have to adapt. They realize that he will not move, and therefore choose to carry the relationship as a burden on their shoulders.
Group 3: Women who go for it and expect the same from their husbands. This is the best attitude of the three.
Decide that you want to save your relationship. But before you start, it's important to ask your husband if he wants to participate.
If he is not waiting for it, then it makes very little sense to work on it. Because you can still pull a dead horse so hard, but it doesn't get any faster. In such a case, it is almost better to divorce than to stay with a man who does not want to change and who is not open to criticism.
Tip 4: Take Some Time Apart
Do you know how most divorces can be prevented? If you are not constantly in each other's presence. There is a big secret that relationship therapists don't want you to know.
Spending more time together does not work. Right now it is enough to know that simply spending more time does not automatically lead to an improvement in the relationship. Many couples who are married change more into a kind of team. There are children to raise. Jobs to go to. Obligations that must be met.
When you are in that phase, you have something else to do other than having fun with each other. And because of the frustrations of everyday life you can get bored with each other. That is why it is very healthy to spend at least a month each year in your relationship without each other.
Some guidelines:
Go for complete radio silence. That means that you do not exchange messages, and that you do not stalk each other via social media. The intention is that you become completely psychologically separate from each other.
Go on holiday without your partner. You can then come to yourself completely and organize your thoughts. And if you choose a nice destination, you will see some of the world too.
Give your partner the space to develop hobbies on their own. And do the same yourself. That way you have a life apart. And the relationship becomes an addition to that, instead of being the exact opposite.
Solve moments when you are not together for a weekend. Do this with some regularity, so that you release pressure from the boiler. This also responds to the male need to feel calm in the relationship.
If your relationship is heading for a divorce, you are more likely to be happy if you spend time apart. This is at odds with the advice not to deviate from each other in such a case. And do you know why it works?
Taking distance ensures that you will miss each other. During relationship problems it is not about getting closer to each other. It is often precisely the cause of the problems.
Instead, you want you to miss each other. If you spend less time together, the desire for each other can be rekindled. So that when you come together, there is a bit of fire. And not from a cowardly flame.
Tip 5: Do Positive Things
Do you know what almost everyone does, but what does not help? Complain.
It is one of the biggest irritations for most people. Yet we all participate, and we never correct each other. If you have relationship problems, it is important to remove as much pressure as possible from the boiler. And how you do that is by complaining as little as possible. Men experience this as a drama. Be positive, don't complain and limit the drama. Suppose you come back after a long day of work, and take a deep breath. Maybe you say something like "It was a tough day."
Because a man always communicates in facts and not in emotions...For him this is already a form of drama. Which it is difficult for him to handle. So try to avoid this. Instead, you better bring it positively.
Because when you come in and say: "Hey, darling, long day. Do you want to hold me? " Then he really wants to hug you. Men may not like negativity, but they do love you. So if you limit the drama and just ask him what you need, then he is just happy to assist you. He is like that again. Make the time you spend as fun as possible. If you spend a long time together and experience relationship problems, you can forget why you are together in the first place. And that's just because you make each other happy.
But trying out new things is a nice bonus. Even if you go to a different restaurant than where you normally go. Or do you take a beach walk instead of a forest walk? And with everything you do, your question may be: "Are we doing this because we're used to it, or because it's fun?"
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