Is Money Really the Problem in Your Relationship?

Money problems often top the list of problems that cause a couple to argue. As a result, relationship advice sites receive stories that cover every financial aspect of a relationship from married couples who have hidden debt from each other for years, to dating couples who aren't sure they will ever have enough money to get married. With the economy declining and the unemployment rate rising, you would think that the number of couples breaking up due to money problems would be on the rise.

Surprisingly, the number of relationships that are falling apart due to money problems seems to be holding steady. Although this may not seem to make sense in this economic climate, it does make sense when you examine the number of relationship problems that are truly caused by money. Although money may be a part of many problems that couples have, money problems are often a symptom of other problems and not the root cause. Here is a list of some common money problems where money is merely highlighting a deeper problem within the relationship.

1. Priorities Are Reflected in Our Spending Habits- Anyone who does accounting work will tell you that how a person spends their money will tell you an awful lot about that person. A glance at their everyday expenses can tell you about their lifestyle and how they like to spend their free time. Their spending habits can also tell you something about their priorities. For example, do they splurge on luxuries when they haven't paid their outstanding bills? Do they they donate money to charities, and if they do, which charities do they prefer?

One of the first relationship problems that I received which mentioned finances was from a woman who received an engagement ring with a diamond that was much smaller than she thought was acceptable. My first reaction was that she was too focused on the ring and not focused enough on the commitment that the engagement ring represented. After I reread her story a few times, I realized that her problem with the ring was not at all about how much the ring cost.

Her real problem was fiance's priorities. It turns our that he had received a sizable bonus at his job, and used the bulk of the money for a new convertible. The woman didn't appreciate that her tiny ring was purchased after the majority of his funds had been spent on his big shiny sports car. Whether you agree or disagree with how this man chose to spend his money, there is no denying that it spoke volumes about his priorities in life.

2.Money and Trustworthiness- Many of the money problems that we see are really problems of trust. Some couples hide bank accounts from each other, some hide debt from each other and some hide the state of the household finances from the partner who isn't the primary bill payer. Several times we've received "money problems" where one partner has hidden financial problems from the other. We've seen people who lost money in bad investments, others who squandered money during spending sprees, and some who have lent money that will never be paid back. In all these cases, hiding these money mistakes rather than admitting to them as soon as they happened was a much bigger issue to the partner that was deceived rather than the actual loss of money.

3.Work Ethic and the Handling of Money- With the unemployment rate rising, many of us know someone who has lost their job. Dating can get expensive, and when it comes to dating, the person with the job usually picks up the tab more than the person with no job. Many times the person who still has a job doesn't mind paying for more dates while the other person gets back on their feet financially, but they don't expect this situation to go on indefinitely.

Even when there isn't a recession there have always been people who either don't have jobs or who tend to "sponge" off the person they are dating even when they do have a job. People who are having doubts about always picking up the tab for their date are not concerned about a short term lack of money. Their concern is really that this person that they are dating may be a freeloader who will never pay their own way. At some point the person's true nature will become apparent, because people who are temporarily down on their luck will eventually get their finances under control. A true freeloader will take the opposite course and will start asking you to spend more and more money on them, not less.

So yes, many relationship problems and disagreements are connected to money, but not nearly as many are truly rooted in money. Money and a lack of it can certainly cause arguments, but it rarely tears a relationship apart. If a money problem is causing you to doubt whether or not you want to remain in a relationship, than it is likely that the money problem is really a symptom of a deeper issue.

For More Information Click Here....