This poem was written in response to a discussion about the care of natural hairstyles.

I was fascinated to learn of other peoples experiences.

The opportunity arose to share my own approach to the care of black hair as it had developed due to the care and attention given to me as I grew up. This care came naturally to my sisters and to my Mama but I am sure that my daughter would attest to the fact that the aptitude for care for natural hair is not a general characteristic inherent in all of us as black women. I had absolutely no patience.

I was from the school that pledged:”It has to hurt to be beautiful” (brainwashed by my sisters who probably had as much empathy in equal shares to the amount that they had been given !)

Thankfully her caucasian Papa became skilled and was always more caring and patient in the care of her hair when she was small.

I publicly offer my apologies to my daughter and thank her for later in life leading the way by taking me to her hairdresser who catered for all hairstyles including natural hair.

(I had remained stuck in the past in the days when we just had petroleum jelly.)

Recently I have discovered the remarkable achievement of the founder of World Afro Day -Michelle De Leon.

The celebration of this day on 15 th September since 2017 is one that I was not aware of, however, I am catching up.

The unity of children from all backgrounds and cultures; the discussion that is raised in the assembly presentations of lessons in hair care; the positive approach to natural hairstyles in both celebrating the history (did you know that braids often carried messages when worn in Africa?) and linking this with positive identity and uniqueness of each growing individual by a world classroom event, is awesome.

The World Afro Day website should be one that if you have not already encountered, then we can all look to- in an attempt to enrich our knowledge and understanding, during black history month.

Here is my poem

Poem Sixteen

Ribbons

When I was small

My Mama would

Adorn my plaits with ribbons

She taught my sisters to do it in her stead

But they never caught the flair

Of Mama’s choice or of the fashion

In which she dressed my hair

I liked it best

When Mama cared to match the ribbon

With my dress

And pull the plaits tighter

Which hurt at first

But it was worth it

As neither the plait nor the ribbon fell out before bedtime

If the plait unfurled and the ribbon was loose while at school

I had to search for my sisters in the playground

No one else could make it right

No matter how hard teachers or the classroom assistant would try

And the rest of the day

I was embarrassed to just look a mess

A little like my white girlfriends whose ribbons slid from their silky hair

My Mama’s knots could be relied upon to not fall out

Sometimes when the ribbons dangled

My white girlfriends and l

would all as one flick our necks

Adorning our backs with long streaming ribbons

As we

pretended that they were our own tresses of fairy tale damsel long hair

I had many colours of ribbons

Always plain but silk

The expensive ones had a ribbed texture

Rarely Mama had allowed my sister and l to choose

Spotted ones from the haberdashery

That we visited, at the Saturday market

Never had stripes

The spots washed off

And Mama was not pleased

She kissed her teeth disdainfully at the market lady

When she tried to tell Mama that they were not meant to be constantly cleaned and ironed

Mama liked us to be smart

And l would try to sit still

As My Mama combed scrapped parted and oiled my hair

On special Sundays, the hot iron comb was brushed through

Carefully with vaseline

She then matched a ribbon to my dress

Plaited and twisted and coiled my thick strong bush of tight curls

Into an orderly neat coiffure

I sat up straight with my hands demurely in my lap

And my Mama warned me to stay sat still and not to spoil or to mess up the perfection by playing out

Because this was special

I was a young lady

Waiting for the right moment to display

All of her hard work

And l sat up straighter

And l knew that

Like Mama said

I was pretty

• Poetry
• Pom
• Poetry On Medium
• Natural Hair
• Positive Affirmations

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