Robert E. Lee Schools Changing Names, Seek Other Lee Names to Minimize Costs

Business Insider—via The Wall Street Journal—reports that, all over the country, cities and towns are rethinking the notion of having schools named after the notorious traitor, Robert E. Lee. All day, the electric Twitter machine was alive with suggestions of other Lees—Stan, Harper, Bruce, Brenda—whose names could be substituted with minimal fuss, bother, and cost to the school districts involved. The shebeen would be quite negligent if it didn't contribute to this noble enterprise. Therefore, we at the shebeen offer, at no cost, except a sweatshirt from the school in question once the change is made...

It is a name that resounds through American popular culture and that has roots sunk deep in the shadowland of American mythology. In his seminal essay on Stagger Lee's connection to Sly Stone in Mystery Train,Greil Marcus writes that the late Dr. John could sing the song for two hours and never repeat a verse. In 2004, in his book, Stagger Lee Shot Billy,author Cecil Brown brilliantly traced the entire story back to an actual killing: the murder in St. Louis on Christmas night in 1895 of a man named William Lyons, shot by a local renegade named Stacker Lee Shelton after a dispute over a card game. (Brown actually found the police report of the crime.)

The great thing is that the school comes with a ready-made alma mater, and you can choose from hundreds of different versions of it. This will always be my favorite.

What I care about your children/or your darlin' lovely wife?

You done stole my Stetson hat/I'm bound to take your life...

Our football team is going to be soooooobadass.

Source: Esquire.com

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