Porter Robinson is almost unrecognizable in his latest album,”SMILE! :D”, a recklessly beautiful dive into the torn pages of his mind and the cleansing climb back to himself. “SMILE! :D” is a dopamine-fueled existential crisis that introduces fans to a new Porter—a post-EDM realist bleeding with candor. The boy who once tore up festival stages with formulaic, rave-fueled electro is now a complex soul creating tender alt-pop to mend the heart’s most tormented moments.

Robinson’s reinvention reflects an artist unafraid to evolve, even through the vertigo of that strobe light headache. Life in the public eye is a plank on which all artists eventually walk, and it’s too easy to grow nihilistic, especially when you feel endlessly misunderstood. Sacrifice and compromise become routine as they relinquish pieces of themselves to perpetuate a hollow commercial image.

Under those circumstances, “SMILE! :D” is the untethered stroke of genius that happens when there are no f***s left to give. At the album’s core is Robinson’s war with cognitive dissonance through the years. It’s the musical equivalent of laughing at a funeral or crying at a rave—a beautifully uncomfortable reminder that pain and happiness are conjoined twins. Perhaps no track better explores his inner turmoil than the nostalgic “Easier to Love You,” a deeply introspective billet-doux to his fractured former self. “I found a letter, ‘Dear future me / I promise I’ll take care of the person we’ll both be eventually / I’ll pick up painting and I’ll join the gym / I can’t shake the feeling that I’ll be happy by the time I’m him,'” Robinson quavers.

He’s even more pensive in the lilting track “Is There Really No Happiness?,” featuring additional production from the red-hot electronic music trio WAVEDASH. Here, he pirouettes on the knife-edge between emptiness and ecstasy as he ponders a world without a loved one.

And who could forget “Russian Roulette,” the stunning single he released in early June? One of the album’s undeniable highlights, the synth-soaked track finds Robinson using the metaphor of a deadly game of chance to convey detachment and suicidal ideation in the face of relentless criticism. Every rousing chorus is shadowed by the nagging pull of gravity, like trying to dance in quicksand. The album proves that clarity isn’t attained easily. Dissociative disorders are the earthquakes that topple our mental architecture, but Robinson shows that you can rebuild a firmer foundation in the rubble.