James Bauer’s latest book on relationships, “His Secret Obsession,” is currently creating a lot of buzzes. The book suggests that a man’s hero instinct is the key to making him commit and love deeply. Is this concept legitimate? Does the book deliver on its promise? Let’s find out.

What is His Secret Obsession?

“His Secret Obsession” by James Bauer is a newly released relationship guide that equips women with the necessary tools to create a committed and long-lasting relationship with their partner. Along with the main 217-page book, the guide provides a workbook and other useful bonuses. The book emphasizes the significance of a man’s hero instinct, where men strive for a meaningful life and desire recognition for their endeavors. The hero instinct is especially heightened in relationships, as men want to be perceived as the everyday hero to their significant other. The guide instructs women on how to activate their partner’s hero instinct by using authentic words, phrases, and text messages that are tailored to their specific situation.

Who is James Bauer

James Bauer, a well-known relationship coach, and best-selling author, began his career as a trained psychologist before transitioning into coaching. Over the past 12 years, he has assisted thousands of couples in strengthening their relationships by studying their cases. Bauer believes that the key to sustaining love is by activating the hero instinct in men. Rather than posing as a dating “guru,” he provides straightforward insights based on male psychology and his personal experience working with couples.

Is His Secret Obsession worth it?

In the following section, I will provide a more detailed analysis of the cost, pros, and cons of His Secret Obsession. However, if you’re wondering whether this book is right for you, let me share my thoughts.

As someone who reads a lot of dating books, I strive to offer my readers a range of unique perspectives while also differentiating between genuinely useful approaches to finding love and gimmicks that don’t work.

From the outset of His Secret Obsession, I resonated with its central theme: that men have the instinct to step up for women and become their heroes.

Despite the world’s increasing political correctness, this “primal instinct” persists. Men are still men, and we remain driven by the same instincts we always have.

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What I appreciated most about His Secret Obsession was encountering novel ideas, tips, and strategies that I hadn’t encountered before. Everything in this book is grounded in practical male psychology, demonstrating how to tap into it to improve your relationships.

Thus, if you’re experiencing commitment issues with your partner or in general, I believe that His Secret Obsession is a worthwhile investment for you.

Who is His Secret Obsession for?

In brief, the book is ideal for any woman seeking to comprehend what motivates men in relationships. To be more specific, these are the types of women who can gain the most from it:

• Women desiring to escalate a friendship to a romantic relationship.

• Women wanting to transition from casual dating to a committed relationship with their partner.

• Women whose partners appear uninterested, emotionally withdrawn, or distancing themselves.

• Women wishing to reconcile with their ex-partner.

Who shouldn’t read it?

The reality is that His Secret Obsession may not be suitable for everyone. I believe that the following groups of women may not find this book particularly helpful:

• Women who are not willing to invest effort and take action based on the various signals outlined in the book (details provided below).

• Lesbian women, as the book is focused on attracting men.

• Women who are not interested in a committed relationship and prefer to keep things casual.

Looking inside the book

The book His Secret Obsession is structured into three main parts, which are:

Part one, explains how the hero instinct works

Part two provides practical strategies to trigger his hero instinct

A bonus section that includes text message formulas that you can use to start activating your man’s hero instinct immediately.

The book comprises 17 modules that comprehensively dissect the psychology of the hero instinct, and then provide precise tips and tactics for activating it in your man. James Bauer discloses the exact words, phrases, and requests that can stimulate this innate male impulse.

What are the signals (and how to use them)

In His Secret Obsession, you’ll find various signals to use on your man, including the “I owe you” signal, the “private island” signal, the “X-ray question,” the “ex-back” signal, the “glimpse” phrase, the “damsel in distress” signal, the secret “currency” of happy relationships, the “silent action” signals, and the “fascination” signal.

For each signal, James Bauer provides specific texts and phrases that you can adapt to suit your relationship. The signals use psychology to make your man emotionally attached to you, resulting in him considering you more often and thinking in terms of “we” rather than “I.”

Despite the use of psychology, there isn’t any real manipulation involved. All the signals are subtle and easy to work into a conversation without making it obvious to your man that you’re using clever psychology to trigger his hero instinct.

How much does His Secret Obsession cost?

His Secret Obsession is priced at $47, which may seem steep for a book. However, considering the amount of work and resources James Bauer has put into it, it’s reasonable. The book is designed as a “manual” that can be revisited throughout a relationship. Beware of unauthorized websites offering the book at lower prices. To ensure you receive the original copy, complete with bonus materials and a 60-day money-back guarantee, purchase from the official website.

My favorite part of the book: is Rachel and the 12-word text

In the book, you’ll be introduced to Rachel, one of James Bauer’s clients who was struggling in her relationship. Rachel didn’t want to come off as clingy but was worried as her man wasn’t responding to her calls or texts. James gave her a 12-word text that worked like a charm and soon her boyfriend was back to her. While he was happy with the outcome, he realized that he could help more women and decided to write His Secret Obsession. In the book, James shares the exact 12-word text that triggered the hero instinct in Rachel’s boyfriend.

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The pros of His Secret Obsession

In terms of His Secret Obsession, there are several aspects that I appreciated and a few areas that I felt could be improved. Here are the positives:

• Comprehensive guide: With more than 200 pages and extra bonus materials, this book covers all the aspects you need to succeed in your relationship. It’s a one-stop shop and eliminates the need to purchase additional relationship guides.

• Practical content: James Bauer is direct and provides specific phrases, texts, and requests you can use to activate your man’s hero instinct. He doesn’t leave anything open to interpretation.

• Research-based methods: The author supports his claims with the latest psychological research. For instance, when discussing the reasons why a man wants to feel like a protector or how a woman “claims” you are a turn-on for a guy, it’s supported by evidence.

• Hero instinct concept: Understanding this idea will transform your approach to your relationship with your man.

• Ease of access: His Secret Obsession is an eBook, so you can download it right away and start reading it. You don’t have to wait for a physical copy to arrive in the mail.

The cons of His Secret Obsession

Despite my overall enjoyment of the book, there were some downsides that I noticed:

• The book’s layout can be a bit confusing to navigate. Although there are clear sections with different phrases and signals, some of the best ones are also mentioned at the beginning of the book. This means that it’s not the type of book where you can just read a single chapter — you have to read the whole thing.

• Some theories lack detailed explanations. If you’re someone who wants to understand the psychology and peer-reviewed science behind the concepts, the lack of detail may be frustrating.

• Only available as an eBook or audiobook. For those who prefer a physical book, the fact that His Secret Obsession is only available as an eBook or audiobook might be disappointing.

• Price is relatively high. At $47, the cost of the eBook may be higher than some people are willing to pay, especially if they are on a tight budget.

Is the hero instinct a legit concept?

The hero instinct is a captivating concept that sheds light on what motivates men in romance. While I believe it’s crucial for everyone to pursue a fulfilling life, James Bauer takes it further by applying it to men’s dating approach. He suggests that men are driven by a primal desire to feel like heroes by providing for and protecting women. I’ve come to realize the validity of this idea and how it influences men’s perception of a relationship. As a result, I’ve started discussing the hero instinct in-depth on Hack Spirit, as it accurately reflects what drives men in relationships.

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Text Chemistry vs. His Secret Obsession

Amy North, a dating and relationship coach, has developed Text Chemistry, a dating program that provides a contemporary and practical approach to dating using captivating texts. The program offers various text “hooks” to use in different situations, and it includes four eBooks and a 13-part video series for $49.95.

Text Chemistry’s focus is to grab the attention of men through text conversations, making it a useful tool when you’re physically apart. His Secret Obsession, on the other hand, concentrates on tapping into a man’s hero instinct to make him fully commit to a relationship.

If you’re looking to understand men’s desires from a woman’s perspective, then His Secret Obsession may be more beneficial for you. James Bauer’s book also includes a chapter on texting, covering similar territory to Amy North’s program. As the saying goes, “know thy enemy,” it’s always wise to gain knowledge before engaging in any situation.

The Devotion System vs. His Secret Obsession

The Devotion System is another well-known relationship program developed by Amy North. The three-part program starts by addressing your insecurities and unpacking any emotional baggage from past relationships. It then delves into common misconceptions about men and their thinking patterns, followed by tips to develop and enhance your relationship at any stage.

For $48.25, the program includes four e-books, a 13-part video training series, and a three-part adaptive quiz system.

If you’re seeking personal growth before focusing on your relationship, The Devotion System is the right fit for you. However, if you’re already self-aware and looking for a more comprehensive program that focuses on men’s psychology and how to stimulate their desires, then His Secret Obsession may be more beneficial.

Is his Secret Obsession too expensive? Here are some free alternatives

It’s no secret that His Secret Obsession comes with a hefty price tag. If you’re seeking free advice on dating and relationships, several online resources can assist you.

Psychology Today is a prominent website that publishes expert-level content on mental health and behavioral science, including a dedicated section on relationships.

Another website, PsychCentral, features articles written by medical professionals, with a particular focus on mental disorders. However, they also offer valuable insights into men’s behavior in relationships.

In addition, my website, Hack Spirit, provides practical advice to enhance your relationships with others and yourself. We cut through the fluff to offer direct guidance on creating positive relationships.

My verdict: Should you read it?

What’s my verdict after reading the book and writing my His Secret Obsession review?

I have two requirements for recommending a new book: it should be thought-provoking and practical for everyday life. James Bauer meets both of these criteria in his comprehensive and insightful dating book.

At $47, it may not be cheap, but it’s well worth the price. His Secret Obsession includes expert wisdom from a 12-year relationship coach and strategies based on human psychology.

As a man, I learned a lot about my subconscious motivations, and I believe women will find it equally helpful. If you’re struggling with commitment or seeking a better relationship, His Secret Obsession could be your secret weapon.

Visit the official His Secret Obsession website here