13 glowing reviews of reviled movies - 12 minutes read
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A great critic writes what they see, what they hear, what they taste, what they feel — consensus be damned.
Polygon's Spicy Takes Week is our chance to spotlight fun arguments that bring a little extra heat to the table.
There’s as much curiosity as judgment involved in dissecting art (or art-like product), and the pursuit of a pure reaction means that sometimes you’re the only one who loves a real stinker. If 200 people loathe Michael Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, at least one person will call it “cutting-edge and undeniably powerful” and mean it. It’s not trolling to be on the other side of the line; it’s the balance of the universe.
Spicy takes grow naturally in the wild, and when found in Rotten Tomatoes’ forest of common opinion, they offer an especially delectable taste. So to honor those who stood alone in their praise of reviled — and in some cases, vilified — movies, we took a look at both recent and legendary critical bombs to find Tomatometer-rocking dissent.
Jurassic World: Dominion
Photo: Universal Pictures
Year: 2022 Tomatometer score: 29%
The consensus: “Overly long and soullessly engineered”; “A shameful triumph of corporate greed”; “An extinction-level event for the franchise”; “Watching Jurassic World: Dominion, you might find yourself starting to feel just a little sorry for the people who made Jurassic World: Dominion.”
The glowing defense: “Professional raptor trainer Owen Grady (Chris Pratt reprising his dinosaur-whisperer hero from Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom) promises one of his now-adult ‘students,’ Blue, that he will find and rescue her adorable baby clone, Beta, who has been dino-napped by some nasty poachers. This serves as one of the outrageously fun plots in Colin Trevorrow’s insanely suspenseful, breathlessly action-packed, Indiana-Jones-inspired sequel Jurassic World: Dominion, a nostalgia-fueled, emotionally exhaustive capper for the Jurassic World trilogy that began in 2015 [...] There’s something else that makes Dominion unusually special. Like a classic Frank Capra film, Dominion believes in the basic goodness of the common person.” - Dann Gire, Daily Herald
Gods of Egypt
Image: Lionsgate
Year: 2016 Tomatometer score: 29%
The consensus: “Massively perplexing”; “Incomparably preposterous”; “The movie most likely to be airbrushed onto the side of a van”; “If it wasn’t all CGI, I would have said I hope they saved the sets for another, better movie”; “A big budget wheel of cheddar.”
The glowing defense: “This is a special nerdery, different from Peter Jackson’s Tolkien adaptations, the recent (and unfairly dismissed) John Carter or even, Gods protect us, Marvel’s Thor films. Director Alex Proyas has zero interest in making a film for everyone: this is for the indoor kids who read the Fiend Folio from Dungeons and Dragons and not much else [...] Part of what sets Gods of Egypt apart is the sheer number of fantastic and antic set pieces, with hardly a breath between them [...] There’s a half-baked moral somewhere in Gods of Egypt, which might come down to “be true”, or something. Proyas’ films, including Dark City and Knowing, have always been on the edge of the mainstream, and are relentlessly true to his vision.” - Jordan Hoffman, The Guardian
Suicide Squad
Image: Warner Bros. Pictures
Year: 2016 Tomatometer score: 26%
The consensus: “Interminable muddle”; “Amounts to an all-out attack on the whole idea of entertainment”; “[Jared Leto’s] about as scary as a fifth-grader making faces at himself in a Hot Topic changing room mirror”; “To say that the movie loses the plot would not be strictly accurate, for that would imply that there was a plot to lose.”
The glowing defense: “Suicide Squad rejects standard superhero story structure in favor of cutting to the chase — or in this case the sprawling finale. [Director David] Ayer gives us 20 minutes of setup followed by 110 minutes of climax [...] Margot Robbie is perfection as Harley, radiating jocular whimsy and electric danger whether she’s performing aerial acrobatics in her cell, casually threatening the lives of her fully armed guards, firing off at enemies for interrupting date night, or skipping into battle with a bat and a broad grin [...] Though wonky in structure, it makes a certain sense that this antihero tale wouldn’t play by the rules. Packed with attitude, Suicide Squad is ferocious fun, boasting a bounty of action, mirthful mayhem, and a cavalcade of curious characters. It’s just the kick in the pants Warner Bros. and DC Entertainment need to correct course ahead of next year’s Justice League.” - Kristy Puchko, CBR
Morbius
Image: Sony Pictures
Year: 2022 Tomatometer score: 15%
The consensus: “Soul-sucking”; “The cinematic equivalent of Murphy’s Law”; “You can only imagine the carnage that must have taken place in the edit suite”; “Like most April Fools’ Day jokes, Morbius is not actually funny.”
The glowing defense: “Morbius has no reason to exist as an actual movie, but maybe that’s why it worked for me [...] the film itself, the one that plays until those end-credits start to roll, is surprisingly fun, a picture that can just kind of be whatever the heck it wants. And it wants, unsurprisingly, to be a mad-scientist movie, with all the tragic melodrama that comes along with it. Freed from the shackles of elaborate world-building or jokey, family-friendly tentpole-dom, this is a tight, brisk little over-the-top thriller, with plenty of atmosphere, effective jump scares, and a couple of genuinely moving performances at its heart.” - Bilge Ebiri, Vulture
Gigli
Image: Sony Pictures
Year: 2003 Tomatometer score: 6%
The consensus: “Staggering idiocy”; “Torture”; “World-historically awful”; “It’s hard to tell who this movie was intended for: those who think that a mentally challenged boy singing dirty rap lyrics is cute and funny? Those who find Ben Affleck’s brow to be ineffably mysterious? Students of Stoic philosophy looking for a test?”
The glowing defense: “Gigli arrives carrying more baggage than a Greyhound bus, which may distract moviegoers from what is a silly but still an enjoyably written and performed romantic comedy [...] The story is nonsensical, to be sure, and grows more so, but for connoisseurs of romantic comedy, it’s sometimes clear that the whole point is to savor the thrust and parry as love blooms between the leads — much as action junkies forgive ludicrous set-ups on the way to a great fight scene — and in this department, Gigli does score. Its often profane flights of lyrical rhetoric are often hilarious, on a par with the character-based wackiness of Bull Durham, at times; at others, it evokes Chasing Amy in outrageousness, while lacking that pic’s seriousness of purpose. [Jennifer] Lopez and Affleck are thoroughly engaging in their smartly calibrated opposites — his lost boy under a tough, Vinnie-from-the-block exterior to her sensually purring Zen warrior. Lopez has not been this good since Out of Sight, while Affleck’s turn should add a measure of respect to what seems like an inordinately charmed career.” - Amy Dawes, Variety
The Emoji Movie
Image: Sony Pictures Animation
Year: 2017 Tomatometer score: 6%
The consensus: “Boldly bad, yes, but also boldly boring”; “One of the darkest, most dismaying films I have ever seen”; “A viewer leaves The Emoji Movie a colder person”; “Around nine tenths product placement, at least 15 tenths abysmal, and pulsates with molten cynicism on every imaginable level”; “Please, never again.”
The glowing defense: “Somebody pinch me. If I’m not dreaming, I’ve just seen one of the boldest mainstream American movies in ages. The Emoji Movie is an allegory that can be read on multiple levels from the political to the religious, a rare attempt by Hollywood to come to grips with the online world, which is its biggest competitor, and a deadly parody of corny computer-animated family films such as Inside Out [...] The animation may be sub par by Pixar standards but how richly expressive can emojis be? The film walks a knife-edge, implying that the online universe is wide open with possibility yet limited by its nature.” - Jake Wilson, The Sydney Morning Herald
The Last Airbender
Image: Paramount Pictures
Year: 2010 Tomatometer score: 5%
The consensus: “A quite breathtakingly inept hodge-podge of vapid spirituality”; “I believe M. Night can ruin the world.”
The glowing defense: “M. Night Shyamalan may be on to something with this action-movie thing [...] Yeah, it’s kid stuff, and parents aren’t going to be enjoying any Pixar-style dual themes. This is strictly for the preteens who like their heroes young, their morals simple and their villains clear. And Shyamalan delivers. Credit the director for emphasizing the film’s multiple fight scenes, which crackle, particularly for a kids’ movie. This could have played like Spy Kids Know Kung Fu, but [Noah] Ringer is a real martial arts prodigy, and co-star Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire) trained for months. It shows.” - Scott Bowles, USA Today
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Image: New Line Cinema
Year: 1997 Tomatometer score: 4%
The consensus: “Deadly dull”; “Never has tedium been so loud”; “Fragmented and monotonous, without a semblance of the gymnastic cleverness that at least made the first Mortal Kombat film into watchable trash.”
The glowing defense: “Fans will love Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. [...] Annihilation is basically back-to-back exquisitely choreographed high-tech fantasy fight scenes accompanied by high-energy tech beat. The plot, though moralistically correct, is far less important than those punches and high-flying kicks [...] The plot twists and turns a bit, but the fights are constant. Along the way, [the heroes] vanquish a nasty centaur, a monumental four-armed woman and a battalion of evil ninjas.” - Keri Guten Cohen, Detroit Free Press
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Photo: 20th Century Studios/Everett Collection
Year: 1997 Tomatometer score: 4%
The consensus: “A waterlogged sequel”; “Sinks faster than a rock”; “A reeking bag of nothingness!”; “The human propensity to tamper with a good thing is probably ineluctable”; “Do yourself a favor and see a movie instead.”
The glowing defense: [3/5 stars] “Jason Patric, a major talent still unknown to the masses, takes over the stud-in-extraordinary-circumstances role that Keanu Reeves played in “Speed,” and Sandra Bullock joins him in her breeziest performance in quite a while as girlfriend, potential victim and hero [...] “Speed 2” is the most exciting to date of this summer’s big action pictures.” - Gene Siskel, Chicago Tribune
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey
Photo: Jagged Edge Entertainment
Year: 2023 Tomatometer score: 3%
The consensus: “A hundred-acre wasteland”; “Aggressively beige”; “Half-written, and the half we got wasn’t the good half”; “As a would-be cult classic, it commits the ultimate sin of being no fun at all.”
The glowing defense: “Writer/director Rhys Frake-Waterfield has hit the sweet spot for déclassé genre flicks: nobody expects his brand-hijacking film to be any good, and trashy in some ways makes it better—at least more palatable for the late night grindhouse crowd [...] Pooh’s new role as a monstrous killer is a beautiful thing, reminding us that pop culture’s infinite cycle is—and must be—more powerful than any single capitalistic endeavour. So suck eggs, Disney: Pooh’s honey jar doesn’t belong to you. His grotesque reinvention is a kind of cosmic counter-balance: the yin of merchandise-friendly family products; the yang of a gnarly midnight movie.” - Luke Buckmaster, Flicks
Battlefield Earth
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures/Everett Collection
Year: 2000 Tomatometer score: 3%
The consensus: “Appalling”; “Deeply dumb”; “Unpleasant in a hostile way”; “[A] full-throttle adventure into the hyper-space of drivel”; “Not so much watched as lived through.”
The glowing defense: “There is a kind of nuttiness at work in this great big comic book of a movie. It is a spacey demolition derby. “Battlefield Earth” needs to be approached by audiences in the same spirit [John] Travolta approached the material. He’s obviously getting a kick out of it [...] With director Roger Christian’s every shot — right up until the very last one — tilted at an angle, the film has the skewed perspective of a comic book [... Barry] Pepper has a remarkable presence, but a viewer needs a leap of faith to accept the uprising by the “man-animals” against the Psychlos.” - Bob Graham, SF Chronicle
Epic Movie
Photo: 20th Century Studios/Everett Collection
Year: 2007 Tomatometer score: 2%
The consensus: “A painful regurgitation”; “Punishingly uninspired”; “Calls the very foundation of humor into question”; “The most excruciating, unfunny film you’ll see this year... if not your entire lifetime.”
The glowing defense: “You might think that the assorted story elements of The Chronicles of Narnia, the Pirates of the Caribbean and X-Men films, The Da Vinci Code, and even Nacho Libre would elbow each other in a delightfully skewed fashion, but actually, what’s funny is how perfectly their obligatory fight scenes and ‘heroic’ arcs all merge. It turns out that they’re all pretentious in the same pandering, sentimental way, and to call attention to that is a pretty good gag.” - Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
Baby Geniuses
Photo: TriStar Pictures/Everett Collection
Year: 1999 Tomatometer score: 2%
The consensus: “Thoroughly misguided”; “Painful”; “Viscerally repugnant”; “As endearing as unanesthetized gum surgery”; “The best argument for stronger child labor laws.”
The glowing defense: “Good clean fun. This film goes a step beyond Look Who’s Talking by having the babies’ mouths morph to form words instead of using facial gestures to get implied meanings across. The use of stunt doubles to dance and perform martial arts adds a varied twist to this unusual nursery tale [...] With the recent popularity of baby-themed shows, this film has perfect timing. Younger patrons will be drawn into the fantasy, while the humor is sufficient to keep adults interested.” - Dwayne E. Leslie, Box Office Magazine
Source: Polygon
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