Every year, you walk into Thanksgiving dinner with a pit in your stomach, knowing that Aunt Karen will say something with her smart mouth that'll set the whole family on a course toward WWIII.

But not this year.

This year, you're stronger. You know better. You're armed with tips from experts who know precisely how to navigate tension-filled conversations and come out the other side — peacefully.

Business Insider talked to three communications professionals specializing in relationships, conflict, and negotiation: a licensed clinical mental health counselor supervisor, a national speaker who helps people negotiate business deals and address conflict at work, and a diversity, equity, and inclusion consultant. Here's what they say are the best ways to avoid clashing with your family at holiday gatherings this year.

"What we do when we bring our significant others or some of our friends to dinner, right before we go in, we say something like a disclaimer," Risha Grant, international speaker, DEI consultant, and best-selling author, told Business Insider. "We say something like: 'my grandma, my grandpa, my parents, my aunt, uncle or whatever, you know, they're from a different generation, so they may say something offensive — just ignore them.'"

But instead of giving that disclaimer to your guests, Grant says, try giving it to your loved ones ahead of time — let your problematic relative know that this year, you'd rather keep things neutral.

By explicitly spelling out that the family is trying to avoid hot-button conversations this year, you set expectations for everyone and put yourself in the driver's seat, settling some of the anxiety that comes with thinking about what might happen.

"I don't think we should have these difficult conversations during the holiday dinner," Grant said. "And if you think that there's going to be a difficult conversation, I would say try to do that before the holidays. Get it out of the way."

But when Aunt Karen just has to make a comment, even when you've clearly stated you don't want to engage, you don't have to let it derail you, said Keisha Saunders-Waldron, a licensed clinical mental health counselor supervisor.

"You have to understand the importance of the relationship. Is it actually worth winning the argument? Is it even worth hashing out? " Saunders-Waldron said. "And it could be worth hashing out when we're talking about things where your value systems and core beliefs start to kick in — but if we know there is no resolution, and it's not worth ending the relationship over, then we want to agree to disagree."

Set firm boundaries about what type of conversation you're willing to engage in, then stick to them, Saunders-Waldron told Business Insider. And remember: Boundaries are rules you make about your own behavior, not about trying to control someone else's.

"Those boundaries can sound like saying: 'I'm not willing to continue to be badgered right now. So I have about two more minutes to talk to you before that I'm walking away, and I'm giving you the respect of letting you know that I'm walking away.'"

If you try engaging in a conversation you know could become challenging, Justin Hale, a speaker and training designer for Crucial Learning, told Business Insider the easiest way to help make the conversation go smoothly is to start by managing your own perspective.

Often, family debates can devolve into reactionary arguments, where people's fight-or-flight instincts get triggered. Before entering the fray, remember that you're conversing with your loved ones — not fighting a tiger that has jumped out of the bushes.

Assume the person you're speaking to has good intent, Hale said. Try to remind yourself even if you believe they're wrong in their opinion, they may have insight into the topic that you hadn't considered before, and you can learn from them — even if you're just learning more about a viewpoint you disagree with.

"Certainty is that the robber of curiosity. The more certain you become, the less open you are to being curious," Hale said. "And people are afraid of curiosity because they're worried that, by being curious, they are agreeing that the other person is right — but that's absolutely not true. With any of these things, if your goal is to convince the other person that they're wrong, I can almost guarantee standing right here that your holiday conversations are gonna go poorly."

If things get tense despite your best efforts, it can be helpful, Hale said, to start from a place of acknowledging that we can all be wrong sometimes. Being humble and leaning on humor can help diffuse conflict before it escalates.

"Everybody's president has made mistakes," Hale told Business Insider. "Everybody's politicians have been wrong. And nobody wants to admit that."

Hale suggests starting potentially challenging conversations by having everyone around the table share something they've been wrong about. Not only can this be a hilarious bonding activity, but it also opens the door for everyone to acknowledge they could be wrong in this moment, too.

And if you do misstep and feel yourself starting to take jabs at others, Saunders-Waldron said, it's never too early or too late for a sincere apology. Take a quick walk around the block to shake off any excessive negativity, then try again.

"If you recognize that you've done something to somebody, try saying: 'Hey, I recognize that my move was off, and that didn't make you feel good. And I'm apologizing,'" Saunders-Waldron said. "Tell them: 'I recognized that I could have been in a better space and I wasn't. And so I would like to just apologize and see how I could fix the blunder.'"

Sometimes, the vibes just aren't right. If you feel the conversation at the dinner table cannot be held respectfully, it's also okay to refuse to engage. And doing so thoughtfully can help preserve your relationships while clarifying your values.

"I think grace is a big deal in this whole topic because you don't want to alienate from your family," Grant said. "I would still give everybody a hug on the way out — maybe not the person I'm pissed off at — but grandma, grandpa, I'd say 'I love all of you so much. It was great up until this time, but I refuse to put myself or my loved ones in this situation. Maybe we'll come back tomorrow and see you.'"

The key to respectfully disengaging is to do so before the conversation becomes emotionally explosive, she said, and keeping in mind that you care so much about the conversation going well because you value the relationship with the person you're arguing with.

"You do it with love," Grant said. "You let people know why you're leaving, but you've set a hard boundary for what is okay and what is not okay, because at the end of the day the only thing that we control is ourselves. I can't control you, but I can control what I allow you to do to me and where I spend my day."