Fans lucky enough to score tickets to the Women’s World Cup have been instructed to leave their ladders, rolls of paper and hard hats at home under lengthy instructions outlined by Fifa.

Accepting the extensive terms of use and stadium code of conduct is mandatory for football fans prior to accessing their tickets, which requires the downloading of a separate app. The Guardian has pored over the 10,000 words so you don’t have to.

Many of the more than 100 instructions on the entry to the stadiums are reasonable, while others delve into the highly specific.

A ticket, for instance, doesn’t allow drivers to park at the stadium, while there are also no guarantees seats will grant an “uninhibited and uninterrupted” view of the match.

Replica firearms, flares, explosives, extendable batons and cold steel weapons are understandably prohibited, as are long and non-retractable umbrellas. But if you bring a permitted umbrella, it must remain closed at all times.

Beach balls, balloons, Frisbees and inflatable toys are another no-go zone, same goes for “items used in martial arts and extreme sports”. Those hoping to transform Australia and New Zealand’s winter stadiums into an all out beach party will have to keep their novelty items at home – save it for Bondi beach.

Quick GuideMarta named in Brazil's squad for a sixth World CupShowBrazil forward Marta is set to play at her sixth World Cup after being named in Pia Sundhage's squad for the tournament starting on 20 July in Australia and New Zealand.Six-time Fifa World player of the year Marta, 37, will lead Brazil's quest for a first Women's World Cup title alongside other experienced players such as Debinha, Tamires and Andressa Alves.However, the former US and Sweden coach does not guarantee that the all-time Women's World Cup top scorer will feature in the starting lineup."Marta is the queen, she is an icon. Just being around her is contagious," said Sundhage on Tuesday. "If she will be in the starting lineup I don't know, not yet. She will play the role I will give her and I am sure she will do well."Brazil will start a training camp this week and face Chile in a farewell friendly on Sunday before travelling to Australia. ReutersPhotograph: Icon SportswireThank you for your feedback.

And if the tradies were considering bringing ladders, steps, benches, folding chairs, construction tools or boxes, forget about it; Fifa has firmly instructed viewers to leave their furniture at home.

Budding bakers will also disappointed by a clause prohibiting white powder – including flour, or commercially produced food items bought outside the stadium.

The same goes for jars, bottles, cups, cans or “any other form of capped receptacle”, excluding disposable PET bottles up to one litre which can be filled at the ground. That means no jams, no chutneys, no thermos of tea and definitely no passatta.

Don’t forget Fifa’s strict beverage rights; good luck getting your hands on anything other than a Budweiser or Coke, there will be no craft beer in sight.

Unsurprisingly, then, that branded merchandise is a no-no, with Fifa cracking down on any objects, material or clothing intended for hawking or commercial reasons at the matches.

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And, in a win for those who remain forever traumatised by the piercing horn of the vuvuzela that drowned out the sound of just about everything in South Africa in 2010, they’re strictly banned this year, as is any other musical instrument.

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The same goes for anything that produces “noise or other excessively large sounds”, including whistles, megaphones or loudspeakers. No heaters for drums, either. Do not go heating your drums.

Streakers aren’t allowed, obviously, but nor are bullet-proof vests, Rollerblades, helmets, hard hats or “other similar objects”. Blush and lipstick are fine, as is, presumably, a traditional hat, as long as it can’t be used as a weapon.

Other clauses crack down on political or offensive messaging that discriminates on the basis of race, gender, disability, wealth, religion and sexual orientation.

“Any materials … that are of a political, offensive and/or, discriminatory nature, containing wording, symbols or any other attributes aimed at discrimination of any kind” are banned, the code of conduct says, as are “materials, including but not limited to banners, flags, flyers, apparel, colours, insignia and other paraphernalia that are identifiers of any gang or other groups as designated by the relevant police authorities”.

It follows the US taking a stance at the men’s World Cup in Qatar last year with rainbow-themed logos amid strict anti-LGBTQ+ policies of the host government. Warnings that raising the rainbow flag, engaging in chants or even liking pro-LGBTQ+ content on social media may leave a trail of evidence that could be used to persecute individuals once the World Cup had ended shrouded the men’s tournament in controversy.

However, that is unlikely to be an issue for the Women’s World Cup in Australia and New Zealand, which kicks off on 20 July. More than 1m tickets have already been sold and the tournament is on track to become the most attended standalone women’s sporting event ever.

For the millions more fans watching around the world, don your hard hats and karate gear, it’s going to be a big one.