Stephen Colbert: Major Food Brands Are ‘Russian’ for the Exits - 3 minutes read




Stephen Colbert: Major Food Brands Are ‘Russian’ for the Exits

“Yesterday, Coca-Cola and Pepsi announced that they will suspend business in Russia. Your move, Shasta!” Colbert said.
Stephen Colbert joked that with McDonald’s closing its Russian locations, “Russians are going to have to settle for their local chain, McDostoevsky’s, home of their kids’ meal: the box of sadness.”Credit...CBS

March 10, 2022, 1:24 a.m. ET
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
In Good Company
Food companies like Starbucks, McDonald’s and Coca-Cola said they would temporarily close their stores in Russia or stop distributing products in protest of Vladimir Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday that Putin has succeeded in “uniting the entire free world against” Russia.
“One Kremlin spokesperson expressed it in this threatening way: ‘The United States has declared economic war on Russia.’ Thank you for noticing,” Colbert said. “We feel seen.”


“And with the Golden Arches closing down, Russians are going to have to settle for their local chain, McDostoevsky’s, home of their kids’ meal: the box of sadness. [Sings to the tune of the McDonald’s theme song] ‘Ba, da, ba, ba, da — life’s meaningless.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It looks like all major food brands are ‘Russian’ for the exits. Yesterday, Coca-Cola and Pepsi announced that they will suspend business in Russia. Your move, Shasta!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Coke is suspending all of their operations, but Pepsi Co. announced they would continue to sell potato chips and daily essentials such as ‘milk, cheese and baby formula,’ to which Russian babies said, ‘Are you sure you don’t have Coke?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Closing Time Edition)


“As we told you yesterday, McDonald’s, Starbucks and now Coca-Cola have announced that they are suspending business in Russia. Yes, which means the Russian people are going to be forced to develop diabetes on their own now.” — TREVOR NOAH
“One of the major companies is Starbucks. They just closed all 130 of their stores over there. Yeah, and that was just on one street.” — JIMMY FALLON
“There’s always Dunkin’ Donuts, but Putin was like: ‘Nyet. That’s what America runs on.’” — JIMMY FALLON


“And the company that owns Pizza Hut, KFC and Taco Bell suspended its operations in Russia. I had no idea Taco Bell was popular in Russia. I guess that explains why everyone sits 50 feet apart from each other.” — JIMMY FALLON
“And then, facing growing public pressure, Papa John’s announced that it is halting all Russian business operations. Russians were like, ‘Finally, some good news.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
“The Daily Show” caught people on the streets of New York revealing their uninformed opinions on the Cancel Cam.


What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night


The “Severance” star Adam Scott will sit down with James Corden on Thursday’s “Late Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out


Credit...Paramount Pictures

Source: New York Times

Powered by NewsAPI.org