Former Top Gear host Andrew Flintoff has opened up about the high-speed crash that has transformed his life, saying: “I shouldn’t be here.”

Flintoff said he “struggles with anxiety,” has “nightmares” and “flashbacks” in comments trailed by BBC News that were filmed during the second season of his cricket series Freddie Flintoff’s Field of Dreams, which were recorded last summer.

These were the first comments Flintoff has made publicly about the crash, which has seen the BBC pay him £9M ($11.5M) in compensation following an investigation by producer BBC Studios and the popular show rested “for the foreseeable future.”

“I genuinely should not be here with what happened,” he said.

“It’s going to be a long road back and I’ve only just started. I’m going to need help. I really am. I’m not the best at asking for it.”

Flintoff, a previously affable England cricketing hero nicknamed ‘Freddie’, sustained serious facial injuries in the crash while filming Top Gear in December 2022, immediately putting the show on pause – a series that down the years had seen other controversies including a similar crash for ex-host Richard Hammond, and another former host, Jeremy Clarkson, punching a producer.

In the comments, which can be seen next week when the show launches, he tells friend Kyle Hogg that he had to undergo a number of operations on his face and was rarely leaving home at the time.