I am white, college-educated and in my 70s. My 60-plus-year-old girlfriend is also white and college-educated. We both own our homes and alternate staying overnight at each other’s house. I have some medical issues that indicate a moderately weakened immune system. She is healthy for her age. We both have been very careful about wearing masks, social distancing and so forth. She loves tennis and pickle ball and has been playing these games outside, without masks, since the spring. With the cold days upon us, she now wants to play indoors at her athletic club. While all those with whom she will play will wear masks, those on the court before her and next to her may not be wearing masks. She may play five to seven hours a week.

I understand that my only role here is to tell her whether or not I will limit our time together to walking outside, not inside without a mask, no overnights, until the spring. Our doctors indicate only that there are risks involved in her potential behavior, but they will not provide any more guidance. I strongly believe that I have absolutely no right to demand any behavior of her, and she and I will respect whatever decision each of us makes. I am quite fearful, because of my somewhat fragile health, but I have not yet made a decision, nor has she. What are the ethical issues we both face? Name Withheld

So far as the ethics goes, I agree that you don’t have the right to demand that your girlfriend not engage in these activities, though you do have the right to insist on social distancing if she does. But as someone who loves her, you should make sure that she’s aware of the risks she’s exposing herself to. Each of you has primary responsibility for your own health, but part of loving people is ensuring they are acting on reliable information about the risks they face and the risks they might pose to others.

Inevitably, then, the issues you must grapple with are as much about what the risks are in your situation as they are about how you ought, ethically, to deal with them. The risks, first, depend on how dangerous an infection might be. We’re learning new things about the virus every day; estimates of the dangers here are a moving target. But according to one (un-peer-reviewed) paper I’ve seen, between the ages of 65 and 75, the infection fatality rate — the chance of dying if you get the disease — rises from about 1 in 70 to about 1 in 22. (At 85, it’s close to 1 in 7.) And death isn’t the only thing to worry about; it’s possible to suffer long-term consequences even if you survive infection.

Source: New York Times

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